Friday, August 22, 2014

Day 33. Happy Fridayyy!!

1. I ended up winning $53.17 from my DietBet! I’m super happy about that! I reinvested the money towards my next DietBet, which will last 6 months! I think I can lose 10% (hopefully more) in 6 months! If you’re interested in signing up, check out my previous post!

2. I’m SO ready for the weekend! I have Monday off and I plan on enjoying a 3 day weekend! Dave and I are going to dinner at Olio tonight, going to a pool party tomorrow night, and taking a cooking class on Sunday night! It should be a fun weekend!

3. I have already started looking at apartments online (that was quick, huh?). I just want to get an idea of the price range for apartments that have everything I want and I have already fallen in love with quite a few places in my area. I would move next month, but I need to stick to my plan and save for about 6-8 months before I move into a bigger place. Boo adulting! lol

4. I’m finally going to buy a full length mirror for my apartment. This is a big deal. For the past 2 years I have been avoiding any and all reflective surfaces when possible. I have hated myself that much that I have refused to look at myself in the mirror. Sad. So I’m going to make a change and try to improve how I see myself and the first step is buying a full length mirror. No more just looking at myself from the shoulders up. Time to see myself for who I am and hopefully start to see improvements in myself both mentally and physically.

5. I’m getting the itch to travel again. I can’t seem to go more than a couple months without a trip somewhere, even if just a day trip. I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it til February when we go somewhere for my birthday. Maybe I can talk Dave into taking a cheap weekend trip somewhere nearby in the month or two.

Hope you all have a fabulous day!! xoxo

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Day 32. It’s a happy day!

• As most of you have probably already read, I got the job I was hoping for! I will be a Bankruptcy Specialist for a mortgage servicing company. I’ll pretty much be doing what I’m doing now, but a bit more escalated and specialized. I’m really looking forward to it! Thanks for all the congratulatory responses!

• I feel a lot better today than I did on Sunday when those awful thoughts began. Talking about them with Dave last night really helped. And plenty of cuddle time definitely didn’t hurt either! lol!

• It has been a long week (lots of OT) and I am really looking forward to having this coming Monday and next Friday off! I see a beach day happening at some point!

• Another positive thing about the new job is my office will be right down the road from Dave’s office! We will be able to have lunch dates and meet up for dinner after work from time to time! I’m really happy about that, especially since his night classes start back up next week!

Today is turning out to be a very good day! I’m a happy girl right now! Happy Thursday y’all! :)

I GOT THE JOB!!!

I just put in my notice! My last day will be September 4th and I will start my new job on September 8th!!

I AM SO EXCITED!!! I have been trying to get over to that company since November and I’m finally going! I get to work with some old work friends and get a significant salary increase! I see that new apartment in my near future! Ha!

I just want to bust out a major happy dance right now!!! So happy!

Now I no longer have to be vague! Yippee!!

:D

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Day 31. Feeling better.

• I woke up this morning feeling a little better about myself. The harsh, negative thoughts seem to be fading away. Still not feeling 100% positive, but I’m getting there.

• Just realized that 10lbs in 30 days is something to be proud of. I’m headed in the right direction and doing it in a way that works for me. Even with 4 guilt-free meals, I still lost a good amount of weight. It’s okay to indulge, I just need to be smart about it. It’s unrealistic to think that I am going to cook every single meal of every single day for the rest of my life. So allowing the occasional guilt-free meal is totally okay and good for me. I’m proud of myself for what I’ve done over the last 30 days and I am excited to see what the next 6 months have in store!

• I think my goal for the next 30 days (until September 18) is to lose 8-10 more pounds, which is an average of 1.5-2lbs per week. I think that is very realistic and totally doable.

• I’m so ready for Fall weather. It has been too damn hot. I have been getting up at 4:30 in the morning to get my runs done before work, because it’s too hot to even consider running in the afternoons. It’s been close to 100 almost every day the past couple of weeks and so damn humid. I’ve lived here all my life and I will never get used to the humidity. Hate it. I would love some temps in the 70s or 80s please!!!

• Dave is coming over for dinner and HOC tonight after his run. I love how this has become our Wednesday night tradition this summer. I hope it can continue once he starts night classes next week. Thinking tonight I’ll just cook some chicken sausages and roasted brussel sprouts with bacon.

That’s it for today. Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

DAY 30! Down 10lbs!

• I feel good about being down 10lbs since starting on July 21st! Looks like I’ve met my DietBet goal too! I think this is something I can stick with long term. I do well with structure. I like having a strict eating plan for all my meals except for my pre-planned guilt-free meal each week. I haven’t felt deprived or tempted to quit, yet.

• I’m still having trouble with my thoughts, but they aren’t quite as bad today. I still feel gross. Eventually the thoughts will go away.

• I have next Monday and Friday off and I plan on using those days in a beneficial way. I plan on making a return to the gym, doing lots of cooking, and doing some major purging of stuff in my apartment. I think investing some time into myself will improve my mood.

• I might end up having two planned guilt-free meals this weekend and I’m okay with it. Dave and I are going to dinner at Olio, Friday night, for Eat Up Downtown and I love their duck confit grilled cheese! Then on Sunday evening, we are doing a couples cooking class with our young adults group from my church and the theme is tailgating treats and I’m not going to spend $40 to cook the yummy food and then not eat it! Two meals won’t derail me. I’ll just be extra good this week and next week! Planning is the key to not making impulse decisions that make you feel guilty afterwards!

• I’m anxiously awaiting a phone call this week and it’s driving me crazy. I am constantly checking my phone and taking it everywhere with me to make sure I don’t miss the call! I just want to know!! (Gotta keep being vague til it’s all official!)

Hope everyone has a Happy Tuesday!

Monday, August 18, 2014
Day 29. A yummy homecooked meal at my parent’s house. Baked chicken thighs with roasted broccoli slaw and squash! So good! 😊🍴

Day 29. A yummy homecooked meal at my parent’s house. Baked chicken thighs with roasted broccoli slaw and squash! So good! 😊🍴

Parents to the rescue.

I’m in such a crappy mood and all I want to do is be lazy and watch a movie to distract me from my thoughts. But I still need to do meal prep. Ugh.

My parents are amazing and have come to the rescue. I’m going to spend the night at their house tonight after work and my Mom is cooking me dinner and my Dad said he would grill all my meats and veggies for the week! So I can just distract myself with a movie and not stress about meal prep for the week.

I have the best parents in the world! I am very lucky.

Aww! My man put a picture of us on his desk at work! This cheered me up a bit! 😘 👫

Aww! My man put a picture of us on his desk at work! This cheered me up a bit! 😘 👫

Day 29. I’m a hot mess.

Warning: This is a very negative post, but I need to get it off my chest.

I have been feeling very shitty about myself the last few days. I’m not really sure what triggered it, but I’ve had some really awful, nasty, and hateful thoughts about myself. Some of the thoughts that have crossed my mind over the weekend:

• I am such a disgusting blob. I can’t even stand to look at myself in a mirror or in a photo.
• I am sick and tired of being fat and ugly.
• Who would want to be seen with me in public, I feel sorry for my family and friends.
• Dave can’t really love me for looking this way. He shouldn’t have to look at this.
• I will never be complimented for my looks. I will never hear someone call me beautiful or gorgeous.
• I feel trapped in my body and I just want out of this fat suit.

I’m not sure why the sudden surge in negative thoughts, but these thoughts are starting to consume me. I am still determined to stick to my plan, but my mind is in such a negative place right now. I hope it’s just a quick, temporary thing and will only last a few days max. I want my happy thoughts back and to not be controlled by my appearance.

Today is just a rough day. I just want to stay in bed and cry, but I’m not going to let this stop me. It’s just a bump in the road. It hurts to think these things about yourself. Sorry for the Debbie downer post.